A child’s worst nightmare; to be brought up in a broken home

 

A child’s worst nightmare; to be brought up in a broken home
A child’s worst nightmare; to be brought up in a broken home
Living in a family where your parents are intolerant of each other can be quite a disastrous experience. Lacking the love a family should have, it is not an easy journey. It can have disturbing effects on not just the couple but the children too. According to recent studies and researches, it is eminent that the children who live in a broken family are more vulnerable to clinical depression and anxiety.

CHALLENGES FACED BY KIDS

Children who see their parents go through divorce develop a cynical feeling for everybody, which can prove to be very critical for them. With so much chaos in their lives, they are not able to concentrate on anything and often face the problem of Dyslexia and other mental health issues . Seema Hirongani, a well known clinical psychologist agrees, ”Children in families where the parents have broken or love-less marriages are more prone to depression and emotional disorders. Not only do they grow up having a disturbed mind-set, their opinion on almost everything is extremely negative. They also have major trust issues to the extent that they can’t even trust their own parents.”

Living under such emotional trauma at such an early stage of life can mentally destroy you. It gets really difficult to inculcate the feeling of love and care in them. And not just emotionally, their academic performance is also affected. Seema further adds, “I have seen cases where the children start living in a shell and stop expressing their emotions in front of anybody, not even the people they once trusted with their lives. They become anti-social, aggressive and even violent in some cases and if somebody offers them help, they don’t respond. Handling such situations can be really difficult because they have to be tackled very carefully and sensitively.”

Doubting everything, not being able to express emotions or being too emotional, getting bullied are some very common after effects of not getting the right environment at home. As a result, the numbness in them absorbs them and can ultimately result in them taking barbarous steps like suicide.

HOW TO DEAL WITH SUCH CHILDREN

Dealing with children who are experiencing such traumatic situation is not easy. Varsha Patkar, a famous clinical psychologist says, “Situation where the children are facing such emotional trauma needs to be tackled very sensitively. It is complicated for both the kids and their parents.”

1.Don’t alter your child’s routine

The best you can do for your children to minimize the effect of breaking home is to keep their life unchanged as much as it can be. Let their everyday routine be unaltered.

2.Communicate with your children

“Communication with your children is the most important part of the parent-child relationship. Express your feelings to them but make sure, not to sound aggressive. Let them reveal their inside feelings to you and reassure them that you understand them,” says Varsha Patkar.

3.Honesty is the best policy

Being honest with your children gives them a feeling that you have trust in them. So they naturally trust you back with their feelings too. They act more responsibly to the whole situation and try understanding your point of view.

4.Do not restrict them

The worst mistakes some parents commit is to restrict the children to meet the other parent and cut contact to take out their personal aggression. DO NOT DO THIS. It would harm your child to huge extent emotionally.

5.Do not fight in front of your children

Fighting in front of your children is a big no-no. When they see their parents fight, it breaks their heart and affects them in a really negative manner. They are not supposed to be exposed to any violence related to your marital failure, be it verbal or physical.

6.Indulge them in hobby classes

Hobby classes are a great way to divert their mind from the chaos happening in their personal life. Be it martial arts or dance, it would prove to be a way of taking out their aggression constructively and expressing their feelings without actually saying them.

7.Let them know you love them

Love is the only emotion that can fix the broken. Varsha Patkar further adds, “The only surety your children need from you is to love them despite of everything that is happening around and the physical absence of either of the parent would not lessen their love under any circumstances.”

[“source-ndtv”]