Moms are, by default, passive aggressive. You never know when a happy conversation about, say , birds, can veer towards a long-pending out burst for something you did three months back. Don’t be surprised. Because, ma forgets nothing. NOTHING.
So you like your friend’s mom’s cooking?
Oh, lord help you. You will be bombarded with questions that suggest you have grown out of love with your mother. Because if you like your friend’s tif fin better, it’s only a matter of time before you start lik ing hisher mother better. So let’s pretend that the ten der chicken leg piece you savoured at your friend’s tastes like feet, shall we?
You are not allowed to be full
Bengali food is the shizz. It is also one of the reasons we need an antacid right after the meal. In a Bengali household, you are never allowed to say you are full. Because, ma has cooked everything with an abundance of love and refusing that 100th morsel will be inviting bad karma. Also, you will never hear the end of it.
There is always one ‘Bondhur Chelemeye’ who’s better?
So this person excels at literally every thing. That term paper? First class. Extra-curricular activities? Could moonlight as a ninja. Love and respect for parents? Comes home at 6.30 pm. Enough said. Okay , is this person even for real?
If she finds what you can’t, you’re dead
Sample this. You: Ma, have you seen my new dress? Ma: It’s in the top right compartment of your wardrobe. You: Don’t see it. Ma: What if I find it? You: *sheepishly look again, just in case* Plot twist: You don’t find it and she does.
If you break a dish, you’re bringing the house down
So you broke a dish in the kitchen? It’s a reasonable assumption that you’d like to break everything -from dishes to furniture -now. You can always see the `shob bhenge de’ coming your way .
If she thinks it’s cold, you have to wear the monkey cap
The fear of catching a cold transcends everything else. If the temperature dips below 20° Celsius, ma will mummify you under layers of clothing and the all conquering monkey cap. Who knows, may be you are a bombshell or a handsome hunk under that functional cap that leaves only the eyes and mouth bare.
She will call you by your most embarrasing nicknames infront of your friends